Meat joke #2 ...

What did the pepperoni say to the pizza?

Nice to meat you!

Meat joke #1 ...

Why did the butcher go to outer space?

Because it was Meatier!

A Quarter Two?

To some people, "a quarter to" is equal to 27 cents.

Equi-tease

In investment program that only allows you to research good stocks to buy, but it messes you up if you try to actually buy them.